Another Christmas Eve is upon us and I'm sitting here alone, quietly listening to the Christmas music as it softly plays. I'm contented and grateful that I've managed to somehow get things in order and am ready for this glorious holiday once again.

    While this is my most difficult holiday of the year, it's ironic that it's also my most special. Maybe it's the fact that I have to work through it so hard, so appreciate it more, or maybe it's just because I have so much to be thankful for and knowing that Christ was born and died for us gives a special meaning to life. I think about His suffering for us and can't help but feel guilty for resenting the pain that I go through each year.

    As His life here on earth held so much love and so many rewards despite all of His pain, I know that mine has too, even if only in my one little corner of this great world.

    Once again, I've taken my daughter home for Christmas, knowing that she would be very demanding yet also knowing that she would love being home. I'm always blessed by the little things she says and does that add such a spark of warmth to my heart and a little tickle to my soul.

    I wasn't disappointed at all and felt a renewed strength through her innocence and joy. She has written little thank you notes and put them on the Christmas tree. She can't really write but to her she can and as she placed them said, "Thank you Mismas! Thank you bery nuch!"

    As we watched a Christmas special on television she heard "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! See you Next Year!" Her translation meant every bit as much and more to me as she struggled to say "Merry Happy Mismext Year!"

    I would never have believed anyone if I saw how a child like my daughter had such outbursts of anger that they physically injured them so many times and with such force. How could they still love her and want to take her home for visits? Having her has shown me why. She's such a challenge for me but so rewarding in so many ways. My only regret is that I'm not able to keep her home with me and care for her myself any longer but I thank this Blessed Christ Child born this day for placing her in my care and carrying me through when I could not walk, keeping me focused on my role in her life. In showing me the way, He also taught me that a part of that nurturing was weaning her from me in order for her to be able to accept the care that others so lovingly give to her in my absence.

    I think I was blessed many times over by the wonderful family I have. I could not have asked for a more wonderful older daughter nor the family that God has blessed her with. She's truly my right hand and never fails to catch me when I'm about to fall.

    I was also blessed with a terrific son. He's very quiet but full of love. He was also blessed with a wonderful family and is always there when I need him.

    Seeing how well all of my children are doing, how well adjusted they are, how thoughtful and loving gives me an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, knowing that working so hard raising them was well worth the effort.

   I can't take all of the credit though, because besides the guidance of the good Lord up above, I had a wonderful mother as a role model. My brothers and sisters and their families are living proof of that! I am truly, truly blessed.

    He has also brought some of the most wonderful friends into my life that I could ever ask for!

    God Bless this new born babe as He lays in that manger on this glorious night for He is truly the Light of the Earth!

Merry Christmas One And All!

Written With Love By Susan L. Anderson

12/25/01